Machine Cartel

F51

MACHINE CARTEL ARE AN ALT HIP-HOP BAND. THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS CLASSIFIED: We have designated the audio anomaly 2026.05.15-MC01 henceforth referred to as “Machine Cartel”. The disturbance was first observed in both Canterbury and Folkestone earlier this year, with eye-witnesses describing “funk-infused, driving bass”, “syncopated, grooving drums” and “neo-soul, rock guitar”. Witnesses also report the sound being overlayed with “rich, soulful vocal melody” that intertwines with “fast-paced, complex, staccato rapping”. All interviewed persons displayed signs of physical effects after exposure including involuntary head-nodding, rhythmic gyrations of the extremities, elevated heart rate and feelings of euphoria. We have analysed the signal and have identified three components which we are designating ‘John the Savage’, ‘George’ and the entity known as ‘STAR TRASH’. Further analysis bares some resemblance to previously identified signals including BOB VYLAN, FLOBOTS and the KAE TEMPEST project known as SOUND OF RUM. We are certain the event is extra-terrestrial in nature. Further investigation is strongly recommended. FFO: Bob Vylan, Sound of Rum/Kae Tempest, Flobots.